Rants and Rambles

Holy Crap, it's been 6 MONTHS!!!!

2009-10-03T20:19:00.000-07:00

I am so so so so so sorry I have been absent from my blog for so long, though it does look like I wasn't the only one that wasn't updating very often. I would like to say that things have been crazy, but really I don't have much to talk about. I have mostly been keeping to myself. My 30th birthday was pretty uneventful. I went down to our VFW. My brother made me a sugar free cake in the shape of a flutterby. I don't remember if I told you all I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. I have it completely under control though. I take metformin daily, along with my prozac. I had my doctor up my dosage. I was sooooo sick and tired. My sugar was completely out of control, to the point where I was was so dizzy I had trouble keeping my balance. I was tired and I could barely make myself get up and go to work in the morning. But that has changed. I am still a homebody, but I like to go out occassionaly. I just prefer to have quiet evenings at home, with my dogs and cats. Yes, you read that right, dogs. I took in a 17 year old pomeranian mix after his owner was put in a nursing home with dementia. He is half blind and half deaf and has arthritis in his back legs and hips, but he is still so full of spirit. His name is Peanut, but I call him Bubbers....he doesnt respond to either though, lol. I have to clap my hands to get his attention. He is such a sweet boy! He holds his own with Molly and still plays with me. He prances and trots around and barks for my attention and sometimes he even runs around outside. I will post a pic of him at the bottom of this post.

The one year anniversary of me and Joe splitting up came and went and I didn't even realize it till almost a week later. I haven't seen him since before Christmas and havent heard from him since I think around January. Don't know where he is, don't really care. Except to get the blazer back from him.

I got my learners permit and I am finally driving. I bought a van from my Aunt Nita and Uncle Jim. Got it insured and titled and plated and I can take my drive test the end of this month.

I also applied to go back to school. It wont be for awhile though. Gotta get some financial stuff worked out first, but I got the process started at least.

Still renting a house with my bestie Dustin. We got along for the most part, though sometimes I want to murder him in his sleep. No, we are not dating. I get asked the question a lot lately. I guess people still find it unusual for men and women to just be friends. We have lived together for over a year, and have been friends for even longer. It's a good, easy friendship and I wouldnt want to ruin it by doing something I know we would regret.

Well, thats about it. I am still working in my customer service job. Work is pretty damn slow, very very scary. After the federal tax went up on the cigs and our ecomomy went in the shitter, convenience stores and cig shops started closing up left and right, and the ones that didnt downgraded. I worry constanly about my losing my job. I am cross trained so that helps, but still.....

Missed you all!!!!

2009-05-10T09:24:00.000-07:00

Happy Mommy's Day to all you wonderful moms in the blogging world!!!!

2009-04-16T16:05:00.000-07:00

Things are going a bit better for me...work sucks, but then its work so it always sucks. One of the ladies in my department got fired for being rude to the customers, so I took over her responsibilities. Its a lot of work, more so for me because I am learning as I go and some of the stuff she does, no one knows the procedures for it, so I'm playing it by ear. I am also still helping in the computer room, doing invoicing and stuff sometimes, and that really stresses me out, but I keep telling myself, at least I still have a job.

My diabetes is almost under control. My sugar is never over 180, and while that is still a bit high, its waaaay better than it was before. I am feeling much better, have more energy and I am also in a better mood (most of the time). I am back on my prozac which helps. I have also lost 6 lbs in two weeks. I don't go back to my doc for another three months, and my goal is to have lost at least another 20 lbs by then. Hopefully more. I have quit drinking pop, and I sure do miss my mountain dew, but I feel so much better that its a pretty damn good trade off.

My birthday was great. I managed to not break down at turning 30. It was a close one though, when I checked my mailbox on Monday (my bday) and found coupons for huggies diapers. I turned a childless 30 and they send me Huggies coupons?? WTF??!!! I almost threw them away, but remember a great lady I work with is having a baby boy soon, so I took them to her. Figured she can stock pile before the baby gets here in August, lol...

I had to have my brother tell Sperm Donor to quit calling me, so I haven't heard from since. He called me 4 times. My grandma didn't say anything, so he either didn't tell her, or she understands.

I went to our VFW post for my party. My lil brother bartends, and my mom brought food and my brother made me a reduced sugar cake in the shape of a butterfly. It was pretty and very yummy. Friends and family came down and we sang karaoke and I checked out my lil brothers hot best friend and we all had a good time. Good food, good music, good friends and hot guys, what more can you ask for???

My sis Brandi took me out to lunch the Friday before my bday, to Penn Station Subs...very yummy...after we ate we just sat and talked, then came back to my place and talked and played with Molly. A very good day. I miss spending time with her.

So all in all things have gone a lot better for me than the last few months have. Now I just need to find me a sweet, hot guy to fall in love with, lol....

2009-03-29T10:29:00.000-07:00

God I am so pissed right now! Last night my phone rang, and I didn't answer it cos I didn't recognize the number...they left a voice mail but I didn't feel like checking it at the time....this morning I got another phone call from the same number but they DIDN'T leave a message, so I checked the voice mail from last night and it was my sperm donor of a father...I couldn't understand the whole message, but I got that he wanted me to call him back....uh no thanks. Not gonna happen. I also wondered how he got the number, since after what happened at Christmas I didn't think my grandma would have given it to him....turns out my OWN BROTHER gave him my number! I am so pissed right now its not funny! He KNOWS how Jerry affects me! HE KNOWS! He has hugged me while I cried over him more than once! He protected me from the wicked step mother in Florida! I just don't get it!

My brother told me he wanted to wish me a happy birthday, even though my birthday isn't till the 13th...and that he misses us...if the bastard misses us, he would make more of a freaking effort to be a father, not random phone calls every few months, or hell, even every few years...

UGGG! I am even madder at myself for letting him get to me like this! EVERY SINGLE TIME! I just want to scream!

2009-03-14T20:32:00.000-07:00

Went to the doc...did some blood work....im diabetic....luckily I am not insulin dependent at this time...my blood pressure is fine...waiting on the results for my cholestrol and tyroid...gotta go see a dietician...not happy about this...

also back on my prozac..upped the dosage though...right now I dont have much of an appetite..which is helpful...doesnt last though...trying to find energy to exercise...

thats all for an update now.....hopefully i will be motivated to do a real post soon...

night!

2009-03-01T19:20:00.001-08:00

Just read Rains latest post.....it felt familiar....I too am getting back on some kind of meds...I have doc appointment on the 9th....I also just haven't been feeling physically good...very tired all the time...taking naps and going back to sleep a few hours after I get up from the nap....sleeping later and going to bed earlier....its horrible...I feel like all I do is sleep anymore....

I think my blood sugar is outta wack...I am dizzy a lot...having to pee alot...and I just feel weird....I know my blood sugar is messed up...my last doc put me on meds but she was WACKO...diagnosing me with stuff without any tests, so I dropped her....had to find a new one and it was HARD. No one was accepting new patients.....

I have been craving warm, sunny weather so much I dream about it....I dream of standing my back yard in shorts and a tank top with Molly playing...Its about 75 degrees, nice warm breeze, sun shining on me...I could almost smell the warmth. I don't think I have ever craved spring/summer so much before. Maybe its cos of all the bullshit going on in my life right now...so much stress, drama, money worries, job worries....health worries...maybe the craving for spring is just a craving for CHANGE of any kind. Sometimes I just want to lay down and go to sleep and not wake up until something GOOD has happened. Sometimes I just want to give up completely.

I am so FUCKING LONELY sometimes it's not funny. I have my roommate, who is great, and I have my mom and other family but they don't fill the void Joe left. Sometimes I feel so empty....so empty and lonely. I crave physical contact...not sex (though I do miss that) but holding hands, and hugging and cuddling....and kisses...I miss kisses...even the little pecks on the cheek...I miss em so much. I don't miss Joe exactly....just miss the good moments I had with him....I wish I could find someone else to share my love with....someone sweet, and goofy...someone not afraid to be themselves...someone that doesnt use drugs and drink a lot...someone not afraid to be affectionate...who is trustworthy and reliable...just someone....

Last Saturday marked 7 FUCKING YEARS since my grandma passed away....I miss her....

Now that I am done depressing everyone..I'm going to bed....

2009-02-20T22:34:00.000-08:00

It warms my heart to know that there ARE people out there that aren't only thinking of themselves.....

TORONTO — Fishermen and a teenage boy from an eastern Canadian town rescued three exhausted dolphins that had been trapped behind drifting pack ice for nearly a week, the wife of the town's mayor said Friday.

Sadie May said the men cut a path through the sludgy ice in Newfoundland's Seal Cove harbor with their 18-foot trawler Thursday night, freeing the dolphins from an oval-shaped hole in the ice they had been swimming in for days.

Two dolphins followed the open channel immediately, but the third was too weak and tired, May said.

"He could barely swim about, the little guy, and the men knew something had to be done. A kid, 17 years old with a survival suit, jumped into the water and the dolphin just kind of attached to him and wrapped his flippers around him, like a friend or a mate," the mayor's wife told The Associated Press.

The teenager, Brandon Banks, helped tow the animal to open water, where it swam away, said May.

The 8-foot-long animals somehow became separated from the open Atlantic Ocean and had been stuck in the ice-filled harbor since the beginning of the week. They survived in a shrinking hole in the ice that was roughly 100 feet by 650 feet.

Residents of Seal Cove, a community of 400, were kept awake by the sounds of the crying dolphins and feared the mammals would die.

The mayor asked the federal Fisheries Department to send an icebreaker, but the department said none were available.

"In the end, it wasn't experts or the government, it was us, the people, who made the decision to rescue them," said May. "In Newfoundland, you don't think about yourselves, you think about others and this time, we were just thinking that we couldn't let these dolphins die."

The dolphins are regular visitors to the waters around Seal Cove, which is about 400 miles northwest of Newfoundland's capital city St. John's.

2009-02-13T16:12:00.001-08:00

My cousins three kids (Briana, Ally and RJ) and my mom are coming over Saturday for a little Valentines party....Valentines Day is a hard day for me...not so much because I'm alone (though that does suck donkey balls) but because it was the last time I saw my grandma alive....February 21st will be 7 years since I lost my grandma....it is a little bit easier than when she first died, but it still hurts so much. Its kinda like the hurt platoued. (sp?) Its not as raw as it was, but it still hurts so much. I think about her on a regular basis. Maybe not every day, but still a lot. She helped raise me, and while we did have our differences and we fought a lot, I still loved her so much!

My living grandparents, my dads parents, are so fucking old it scared me. My grandma is 82 and my grandpa is 81 and they are looking it lately. It scares me so much to think of losing them too. And this time of the year it hits me harder than ever.

Anyhoo, the kids and my mom are coming over and we are gonna make cookies and pizza and goof off and have fun. I'm looking forward to it. Briana is 11, Ally is 10 and RJ is 7. They are good kids. They fight a lot, and can be a major pain in my butt, but they are good kids. A couple weekends ago I took Ally and RJ to McDonalds so they could play in the play place. Something so simple made them so happy...I couldn't believe it!

They take my mind off my problems for awhile and they don't even realize it. They're magic! LOL....

On another note, Molly was scheduled to get spayed today and the little brat went into her first heat yesterday. Now I have to wait 8 more weeks before she can be fixed. I have to keep a very close eye on her when I take her out to do her business cos there are two Min Pins two houses down that are NOT neutered! Those would be some UGLY puppies!!!

Well, I leave you with a cutsie pic of my Molly Moo Moo! She always makes my day brighter!

2009-02-08T19:24:00.000-08:00

ya know whats been kinda irritating me lately?? its not anything serious, but it really bugs me...

this ebonics bull crap the young kids have been using lately...i mean, when i change the spelling on a word, its to shorten it...but whats with the way kids spell things lately??

my cousin spells stuff on her myspace page all weird and crap....baYbee for baby, yew for you...stuff like that... i am not a damn tree!...bugs the crap outta me...im constantly trying to decipher her messages when she sends me stuff....does anyone else have this problem, and am i getting old cos of it???

2009-01-22T16:25:00.001-08:00

Remember how I said I was scared about what would happen next at work in my last blog??

Well they cut our hours down to 36 a week...its shitty and I am not happy about it, but I have to be grateful that I still have a job. If I get laid off, I have to move in with big brother and I don't want to do that....

Not only did they cut our hours, but for the next two months at least, I have to pretty much work at my old job. They shifted a whole bunch of crap around and we are only delivering product 3 days a week versus 4 so we are gonna be busier....I have to work 10.5 hours a day, 4 days a week...on the bright side I get my Fridays off back for awhile....

Life sucks sometimes. But I still have a job (repeat repeat repeat repeat.......)

2009-01-17T09:49:00.000-08:00

Holy Cow! Its been awhile since I updated. I think that is the norm in blog world though...its been crazy hectic lately, because of the holidays...I'm so glad they are over! I don't think I would get all stressed out if everyone else would act at least a little bit sane. I don't understand why everyone is so rude and mean and inconsiderate during the holidays. They are supposed to be a time of joy, but everyone always seems so miserable. I just don't get it. Probably never will.

On the work front, they laid 7 people off and I am a bit scared of what will happen next. We also closed one of our small warehouses in Fort Wayne. I was hoping for a raise with my new position, but I'm scare to ask. Right now, I am just happy I have a job at all! Customer Service is pretty nice. It's a bit slow right now, but that works since I am still learning some aspects of the job, and it's easier to learn when things aren't so crazy. I know things will pick back up this summer. Maybe not as busy as summer time usually is, but I think things will pick back up. Hopefully the people that got laid off will get their jobs back soon. I still have to go back to my old job twice a week, at least until summer break. I don't care much for it, but again, at least I still have a job.

Money is pretty darn tight. Luckily Dustin's (my roommate) parents are understanding and very generous and they work with us. My gas bill was 200.00 this month and I almost cried. They paid the bill and we are making payments to them on it. I got my w-2s back and filed my taxes already. I am filing bankruptsy with my tax check. I have too many doctor bills and credit cards and I am tired of the constant calls threatening to garnish my wages.

My brother offered to let me move into his house, but I don't want to do that unless I have no other option. I love my house. It's small, but its on a quiet street and I have a large back yard and I am as happy as I can be here. Molly can run and play and she loves it here too. My cats are happy. They sit and look outside all day long and seem very content. I get along well with my roommate and while money is tight, we are making it work.

I am still pretty lonely. I have no life right now, lol....I work and come home. I play with Molly, surf the net and watch t.v. I miss Joe something awful some days, but then other times, I am glad he is gone. I guess that is also part of the healing....I wish that things could be resolved I guess. He won't talk to me about it at all....he just packed his stuff and left...like he was glad that I have him a reason to leave....and maybe thats true...maybe he wanted to leave...he sure could have gone about it a better way. He kept denying everything...even when I had proof of the drug use, he just kept saying it was a lie....and that the women he talked to were "just his friends". Its so frustrating because I haven't gotten any closure. He just up and left....no explination, nothing....GRRRR!!!!

Oh well...I know I am better off....wish I could find someone so I am not so lonely though.

2008-12-27T06:04:00.001-08:00

Christmas wasn't too bad. It was a little skimpy this year, but I was happy with what I got. The important thing was everyone was healthy and happy. My mom got me a gift card and a new bed in a bag set. Its gorgeous and comfy and Joe never slept on it, lol...My grandma knitted me a very pretty, soft afghan that oddly enough matches my bed in a bad. Don't know if that was intentional or not! My brother got me Tales of Beedle the Bard from the Harry Potter series. Any of you who know me enough know I'm obsessed with Harry Potter, lol! My best friend/roomie got me Lady GaGa's CD, the Fame. I love her, her songs have a good beat and she sings the craziest things!

One thing that did happend that upset me was "Bio Dad" called. He called before I got to my grandmas house and I wouldn't call back, so he called me back. I didn't want to talk to him, but my grandma made me. This year talking to him made me cry. Don't know why. Some years I'm okay with, some years I get mad, and sometimes I cry. I hate crying over that pathetic excuse of a father/human being but sometimes I do. I told my mom I just wished he wouldn't call at all. He doesn't acknowledge us at all the rest of the year, so why bother just because it's christmas. Does it make him feel more like a father to call or something?? To me, all it does is show how pathetic he is. Lets ignore my childrend 364 days a year and only call them on christmas....I'm such a wonderful father!!! What pisses me off more is he is raising his Step grandchildren from his troll of a wife. How can he raise someone elses children and ignore the three he left behind here?? It baffles me, hurts me and makes me sooo angry!!! I've asked him why and of course he had no answer...

So, I gave him five minutes of my time on Christmas to cry and then I went back inside and had a good time with my family. He doesn't know what he's missing.

Merry Christmas!!

2008-12-25T12:55:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and Happy, safe New Years!!!!

2008-11-21T15:46:00.000-08:00

I had a pretty eventful week this week. Well, actually just the last two days were eventful I guess! I could tell something was happening, as my boss's office is right next to mine, and he talks VERY LOUDLY even when its a normal conversation, and my desk is up against the wall we share. He had the Human Resources lady in there, and kept calling people in. Some came out crying, or VERY angry. Then I find out that they were moving people to different departments. Ok. Fine. I didn't think they were gonna move me cos I have tried to move and tried to move to no avail. I was resigned to being stuck in my little corner doing data entry for the rest of my life. Well, at the end of the day I was putting invoices together and the boss pulls one of the ladies from customer service into his office. I ended with her being walked out with all her personal belongings, and of course a lot of crying. I was ready to leave a few minutes later so I grab my purse and coat only to find the boss and the HR lady waiting for me at the time clock. He says "clock out and meet me in the office." My stomach dropped to my feet! Then I look at my boss and see he's SMILING!

"So, since your smiling, I am going to assume your NOT firing me??" My exact words, I promise.

The HR lady bursts out laughing and we go to her office where they tell me that I am being moved to customer service starting December 1st!

Now, I am all sorts of excited until they tell me my hours. I will be working 830-7 monday thru thursday. I am used to working 10 hours a day, thats not a problem. But working till 7 at night during the winter?? It will be pitch black and snowy! But, I will get a raise after I am trained. They want to base it on my performance so I need to bust my ass! One other downside is that at 4 oclock I have to leave customer service and go back to my old job and finish it up cos the guy they are putting in there leaves at 4 for school. Now, I don't mind doing different things and helping out, but that just sucks donkey balls. What if he gets way behind and I am stuck there till all hours of the night?? Oh well, at least I didn't get fired, and I will be getting a raise in about a month or so, so thats good!

How was everyone elses week???

2008-11-05T16:10:00.000-08:00

Its been over a month since Joe and I split up. I think I am doing ok. I had my moments, and still do sometimes. Sometimes I get so flipping lonely that I want to tear my hair out and scream. I am assuming that is pretty normal post break up behavior. I have been spending more time with my mom and brother lately. I went to my moms for dinner after work yesterday and had a really good time. I miss that.

I realized the other day that I had withdrawn from a lot of things BEFORE Joe and I split....I wondered why and did some self reflection and realized that I did it because I wanted to avoid fighting with Joe after he got drunk. You see, Joe in an alcoholic. I knew that a long time ago. He knew it too and told me once that he was worried that he would turn into his father. I tried to support him, tried to get him into AA or something similar. He wouldn't do it. I had no idea what to do in a situation like that except try and avoid situations where there might be alcohol present. Which was hard as all our friends and family drink socially.

I completely lost my taste for alcohol during all of this. I would avoid going to see my fave local band, Forever Gypsy, avoided going to parties and events with my friends, just so we wouldn't fight. He never knew when to stop drinking and when I was ready to go, or told him he had enough, he would get mad and act like a fricking child and it was soooo embarassing and frustrating and scary. I never knew what to do, I couldn't calm him down for anything and in the end he usually got his way, or we had a screaming match and we would drive away squealing the tires on our blazer and stay away for an hour or so...so to make a long story short (too late, lol) I had withdrawn a lot. Its hard to get back in the swing of things. Saturday I went to a bar to see the band play and I was tense for a lot of it until I realized what I was doing. I was waiting for a fight that wasn't going to come. So I relaxed and started dancing a bit with my bar friends. It was nice and I'm glad that I was able to loosen up a bit.

I still miss Joe and probably always will a little bit as he was my first serious relationship and my first love, but I think I will miss the IDEA of what I thought he was, not who he really was deep down. Its going to take me awhile, but I am healing and feeling a bit better every day.

Lady GaGa

2008-10-28T14:29:00.001-07:00

Ok, I am OBSESSED with this chick! I love her music and weird videos! Check out this one, if you havent seen it already!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCnAjel02lM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M65zI9LH-as

ok, try this one instead...for some reason it was showing puppies, but that was cute so i left it up, lol! thanks lavinia for pointing it out

2008-10-09T12:42:00.000-07:00

spent the night in the ER last night....was there for HOURS!!! and the docs still dont know whats wrong with me...i went in cos i had horrible pain across my abdomen, my back hurt, i was running a very high fever and had the chills and was shaking...having to pee ever twenty minutes...thought it was a kidney infection or something, but i have no infection, my blood work came back fine...had a cat scan, it came back normal....my abdomen still hurts, but the fever is gone and i dont have to pee as often....no preggers either, THANK GOD!

they released me, told me to take the day off and get some rest, so thats what im doing....doc said sometimes we get sick and our body resolves it for us and we never know what happened...i think he was blowing smoke cos i was there for hours and they dont know whats wrong with me...oh well...i think im getting better without them....they did dope me up on some serious pain killers by iv and i slept for almost 12 hours...

-----------------------

joe and i have barely talked since we split...he came over for some of his stuff i got outta storage...i can only get so much at a time as i have to get rides to go there...i got him all of his winter clothing for now...everyone says i should just give it away or sell all his stuff but im just not like that...i feel i would be putting my self on his level and i cant be like that....i did confront him on the skankyhoe bag he's seeing...whom WORKS WITH US! he denies it but hes a cheating lier so i was expecting that...what ever..shes skanky as hell...everyone at work calls her a horseface cos shes ugly and has a really long face...makes me feel good that no one can stand her and they are disgusted with joe....

my mom is taking the blazer back beginning of november...said she thinks giving him a month to get another vehicle is more than fair after the way he treated me....im getting my permit saturday and gonna start driving it....i know i know..i shoulda had my license years ago but i hate driving....but i need to be more self sufficent blah blah blah....

bye for now

oh, and yes jess, me u and sassy definetly need to get together and party!!!

Yes, it's Over

2008-10-03T07:02:00.000-07:00

Yes everyone, Joe and I are no longer engaged, living together, speaking, anything with each other. I really had trouble making this post, mostly because there are some people that read it that I don't trust or like, an I hate when they know my PERSONAL business. But I love you guys and this has been so hard for me, so I had to make a post.

Joe was cheating on me, or leading up to the cheating....he was texting secretively, going places with out me, then when I tried to call him, his phone would be off but of course, "I was out of range" or "my battery died" That one is lame as we have car chargers in the truck!

Well, I looked online to see what number he was texting, and called it from a friends phone....a number he doesn't have....naturally another woman picked up....I hung up and texted her, saying sorry, this number was on my phone...she got rude and texted back and her text was signed baby girl....well, immedietly they knew it was me and Joe flew off the handle and left me.....he is still denying he was cheating, and now, since we work together, things keep tricking back to me....he might also be having a thing with one of my co workers...dont know if its true...really dont care either....its over, he treated me like shit anyways and even though finacially it will be hard, I am better off....

And, anyone reading my blog that shouldn't be (you know who you are) can kiss my ass if you think its funny or whatever....karma will catch up to you soon....

Pink-So What

2008-09-28T15:08:00.000-07:00

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
Na Na Na Na Na Na
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
Na Na Na Na Na Na

I guess i just lost my husband
I don't know where he went
So i'm gonna drink my money
I'm not gonna pay his rent (Nope)
I got a brand new attitude
And i'm gonna wear it tonight
I wanna get in trouble
I wanna start a fight

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
I wanna start a fight
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
I wanna start a fight

So so what?
I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don't need you
And guess what
I'm having more fun
And now that we're done
I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright, I'm just fine
And you're a tool
So so what?
I am a rockstar
I got my rock moves
And i don't want you tonight

Uh, check my flow, uh

The waiter just took my table
And gave to Jessica Simp- Shit!
I guess i'll go sit with drum boy
At least he'll know how to hit
What if this song's on the radio
Then somebody's gonna die
I'm gonna get in trouble
My ex will start a fight

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
He's gonna start a fight
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
We're all gonna get in a fight!

So so what?
I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don't need you
And guess what
I'm having more fun
And now that we're done
I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright, I'm just fine
And you're a tool
So so what?
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don't want you tonight

You weren't there
You never were
You weren't all
But thats not fair
I gave you life
I gave my all
You weren't there
You let me fall

So so what?
I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don't need you
And guess what
I'm having more fun
And now that we're done (we're done)
I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright(I'm alright),I'm just fine (I'm just fine)
And you're a tool
So so what?
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don't want you tonight

No No, No No
I Don't want you tonight
You weren't there
I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright, I'm just fine
And you're a tool
So so what?
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don't want you tonight

Ba da da da da da

2008-09-19T19:29:00.000-07:00

Had the house to myself for the first time tonight....and I had aaaaaaaaaaaa

BUBBLE BATH!!!!!!

WHOOHOO!!!!!!

Sorry, it was just so darn relaxing......now that I am all relaxed and fed, I'm kinda bored.....go figures huh?? LOL!!!

2008-09-14T19:46:00.000-07:00

Lavinia posted this on her blog...hope she doesn't mind that I stole it for mine...it was too darn funny!!!!

DOG DIARY:
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
2:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
4:00 pm - Licked a person's face! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Until tomorrow...
Dog

CAT DIARY:
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the
other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I
decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had
hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,
I could hear the n oises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.

This morning I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one
of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must
try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced
that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with
the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so
he is safe.

For now...
Cat

Molly Moo Moo!!!!!

2008-09-06T17:01:00.001-07:00

Here's my Molly Moo Moo as promised!!! Isn't she cute???

Moving...AGAIN!

2008-08-29T21:27:00.000-07:00

Thats right, I am moving AGAIN!!! This time its to my permanent digs. Right now I am staying with my most awesome sis in law and her equally awesome fiance Dave. They let us stay at their house for the last month until I could find my own house....moving into another apartment at Castle Point fell through and I didn't want to get stuck into another year long lease, so we moved in with Brandi an Dave until we could find a house. And we did!! Its a nice house, a bit small but its in the county and it has a good sized yard, fence and it comes with all the appliances including the washer and dryer. I am moving in this week.

I am TERRIFIED that this is gonna fall through AGAIN!!!! Every time something happens. EVERY TIME!!!! I am getting so sick of being screwed around by people and being left in the dust. If it wasn't for Brandi and Dave we would have been stuck in that apartment for ANOTHER YEAR! So far so good right now, but I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop on this house. Luckily most of my stuff is packed already, and in storage. I just brought the bare minimum to Brandi's house. My parents and our friend Bruce are helping us move. With his truck, my dads truck and our blazer we should be able to get all ours and Dustin's stuff in one trip. We are gonna get a load out of storage every day after work, and all this weekend. We have a month to clear out storage thankfully, so this move wont be as stressful as the last one.

In other news, I got a puppy!!!! Her name is Molly (I call her Molly Moo Moo, lol) She is six months old. She is dachshund and springer spaniel mix, according to the vet....She is black with a white chest and white spotted paws...oddly enough, she looks like my cat Kasey, cept shes a dog!

I don't have a decent pic of her right now, as she doesn't like to hold still for pics, but as soon as I can get her to cooperate I will post a few for ya....she's a cutie!!!

How has everyone been?? I have been pretty absent lately, and for that I am sorry. I have just been kinda down in the dumps lately and didn't feel like writing about my shitty life....*sigh*

2008-08-16T22:08:00.000-07:00

Went to my mom and dads anniversary party today. I had a good time, even though my family is completely psycho! My cousin Brandy went to my Aunt Wanda's house to pick up the family photos because my aunt went ape shit, quit her job, sold all her stuff and ran off to vegas with her best friends husband. I SHIT YOU NOT!!!!!!

Anyhoo, she had all the family photos in her basement, and being a crazy cat lady (I lost track at like 9) her cats pissed all over the photos and all we had left were two shoe boxes and two albums. We had given our photos to my aunt after my grandma died because at the time, she seemed the most responsible, and had the most room, because there were TONS of photos. Boxes and boxes and several albums. Now we are down to two shoe boxes and two albums....its sad! Well my cousin brought the pics out so that we could all go through them and take the ones we wanted. I started going through the biggest album and started sobbing about halfway through. There were so many pictures, and it brought back a lot of memories. We have lost so much in the last ten years! Don't get me wrong. I am somewhat happy. I have Joe and a decent job and soon I will have a cute little house. But in the last ten years I lost my grandma, I lost my two dogs and two cats (I know to some people animals are not that important, but they are to me, and I loved my babies so much, especially my Dachshund Daisy.) and I lost contact with several important members of my family. One of my moms other sisters, Sherry, became addicted to pain killers. She has birthed several children. 9 to be exact (Pedro, Jesus, Cecilia, Sophia, Tommy, Julie, Christal, Angel and a baby she gave up for adoption.) She started taking pills to get rid of her back pain...at least that why she SAID she was taking the pills. She became addicted pretty quickly and no matter what we did to help her, it just got worse and worse. She lied constantly, stole from us, prostituted herself and countless other things. After my grandma died and she stole anything of value from her apartment before we got there to pack up and distribute her belongings, we had to cut her out of our lives. Unfortunately, we lost all her children in the process. All but two of them have children now. The second youngest one is 14 and had a baby two months ago. The father is an 18 year old idiot who looks like he belong in a gang or something. He is very very scary looking and is of course not taking responsiblity for his child. The sad thing is that Christal thinks its all fun or something. I get the impression she is "playing house" right now. Wow, I digress. I am just rambling away, lol....my point of the whole thing is that it seems like our family has lost so much. A lot of us drifted away, or we had to push them away for our own well being. I told my aunt nancy that I wish things could be the way they were. Aunt Sherry and Aunt Wanda being normal again, grandma and my animals alive, the kids being kids instead of teenage mothers.....

Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest.

2008-08-05T07:01:00.001-07:00

Well, I am all moved into my temporary place with my sis-in-law and her boyfriend. Its going good...the house is HUGE and its only a few minutes further away from work than my old place.....I still can't wait to have my own place, probably by October 1st, but I am hoping for sooner...I do know one thing though: I am hiring a damn moving company to haul my shit to my new place...I can't go through that again! We moved during the hottest week of the summer, I swear! I thought I was going to pass out!

Well, thats all I have time for now. I have to get going to work.

For Becky

2008-08-01T15:13:00.000-07:00

My thoughts are with you in this tough time. I am soooo sorry for your loss. If you need ANYTHING at all, please don't hesitate to let me know, ok???

Here we are...

I've held your hand
and walked with you
uphill and down
along life's pathway.

We've journeyed far
now here we are
near the end of the road
your hand in mine
holding tight.

We'll not stumble or fall
the sun shines on our path
the ends in sight.

You will leave me
I'll walk alone
but you'll leave behind
enough of you to see me through.

Until one day
my turn will come.

Once more we'll walk
hand in hand
forever friends together.

What Happened??

2008-08-01T13:45:00.001-07:00

Hi everyone. Sorry I was outta touch for so long...I was moving and my comcast was turned off for a week and I couldn't access my email or anything for awhile....

I am getting the impression that something bad happened?? Is everyone all right???

2008-07-01T20:17:00.001-07:00

I've been tagged by Sassy

Six Random Things About Me:

I too HAVE to sleep with the fan on......

I HATE to wear shoes. The moment I come in the house, I take them off...I even take them off under my desk at work.

I'm Obsessed with Zombies.

I collect stuffed and porcelain frogs.

I'm terrified of being sucked away by a tornado.

I'm addicted to the celebrity gossip blog perezhilton.com even though he is a mean, snarky bastard.

I tag lavinia, and jess when she comes back from vacation and Holly.

2008-06-28T20:32:00.001-07:00

Well, the reason I lost the house is cos the lady that was renting to us decided to split up with her fiance or husband or what ever he was and she needed to move back into it. I got my deposit back, but I am so upset about it. I had given my notice to the apartments and was packing and buying stuff for the house and I am just devestated. We looked and looked but none of the houses in our price range were in decent enough areas, or were not what we were looking for, so we decided to stay at our apartment complex another year. Were gonna get a two bedroom though, for Dustin. It has 1.5 bathrooms, so Joe and I will get the bigger bedroom with the half bath. It will be cheaper as we wont have as far to drive to work and we wont have all the utilities, but I am still pretty bummed out about it. Everyone was like, too bad you didn't sign a lease, blah blah blah, but its better that it worked out this way because we have been all moved and settled in and then she probably wouldn't have renewed the lease and we would have to move again. Plus we will have a pool still! See, I am trying to look on the bright side of things!

So, I drowned my sorrows in pizza, mountain dew and a new tattoo. I will take some pics of it and post it for all of you sometime later this week maybe. I have to work tomorrow (sunday) because of the 4th of July coming up. But next week I have FOUR days off!!!!! They did it this way so the drivers wont have to work the holiday. Its all good, cos I will have FOUR days off work! WOOT WOOT!!!

Work has been going a bit better. Things seem to be slowing down a bit lately. I think I only had about 3 hours of overtime last week, so thats good. And one day I got off while it was still daylight outside!!!! YEAH!!!!

So, sorry that I haven't been by anyones blogs lately. Tomorrow after work I might drop by and see what everyone has been up too. I was just so busy being depressed and looking for a place to live......I'm okay now though.

2008-06-19T11:58:00.001-07:00

Lost the house. Not in the mood to blog lately, too bummed out. will update this weekend maybe....

2008-05-22T22:29:00.000-07:00

Got my test results in today, and they came back benign!!!!!!

"dancing around my apartment"

WHOO HOO!!!!

I have to have a pap every three months until I have three good ones in a row, which will SUCK!!! Cos I HATE PAP TESTS!! But, on the other hand, I DONT HAVE CANCER!!!!! I think I can handle a pap test every three months to be cancer free!

Thanks for all your support ladies, it meant the world to me.....

2008-05-16T16:12:00.001-07:00

Went to the doc today. She did a scraping of tissue in my cervix...she didn't see any abnormal cells but she took the scraping to test just in case.....the results will be back in a week.....

Let me tell you, that scraping hurt like hell!!!! I feel fine now, but damn!

2008-05-13T05:13:00.000-07:00

Joe got sick yesterday. Fever, coughing, congestion, sneezy runny nose.....He worked all day, and by the end of the day he was all wobbly and his eyes were all glassy. Luckily, we only had to work 13 hours. We were outta there by 1030. It was soooo nice!!! Today, he called off. He hasn't called off since we started working there so I know he is really sick....guys are such whiners though!!! I think he WAS being overly dramatic at times though....I dosed him up on nyquil and made him some toast and hot tea and he fell asleep propped up on the couch so he could breath.
I just hope I don't get sick now. I just cant handle being sick and working all these hours. I won't be able to call off. Our new lady started yesterday and she seems to really know her stuff, so hopefully there is a light at the end of the tunnel job wise.

My biopsy is Friday and I am real nervous. I looked it up on the internet and they shoot some kind of iodine solution inside me (ouch!!) so they can see the abnormal cells, then they stick this pair of real long sissors up me and cut off a piece!!! They said I would feel a pinch and some cramping, but I bet it will be extremely painful....I have a wedding to go to the next day, so it better not be a lingering cramp or I'm gonna be pissed...

Well, I gotta eat something before work. Have a good day everyone!

Good and Bad News

2008-05-07T23:12:00.000-07:00

Well, I have had a mixture of a week. I have had some good news, and some bad news. I don't have time to go into it all right now, but its in my heart and on my mind, so I had to post something....

The bad news first: I have something called High Grade Cervical Dsyplasia. Its abnormal cells in my cervix...my doctor said that it can turn into cervical cancer...I have a high risk of that happening....they sent my tests to a gynocologist who is going to look them over and call me to schedule an appointment to do a biopsy. I will keep you updated...I am pretty scared right now.

The good news: My employers are really noticing how hard I have been working lately. They not only gave me, and a few others a bonus, but I also got a raise!! WHOO HOO!!! I got my raise because I showed my dedication (or craziness, you decide) for staying and working an 18 hour shift even though I was so sick, I had a fever and was nausous and almost threw up several times.

Well, thats all for now. I will update more this weekend.

2008-05-04T15:12:00.001-07:00

Congrats to our lovely Holly and her baby!!! I can't wait to see pics!!! Thank You Lori for letting me know!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Work was okay this week. We got out about midnight every night but Thursday, which was about 230 am. Blech! I don't even wanna talk about work though, lets move on shall we???

Joe, Dustin and I are moving into a gorgeous house August 1st!!!!! It has all refinished hard wood floors, the original claw foot tub, refinished as well. (Its in our Historical Section, behind the Oliver Mansion Museum.) It has a full attic, with a little room with a stained glass window...a full basement with washer and dryer. It has a foyer, dining room, eat in kitchen, two bedrooms with walk in closets, a huge walk in pantry, a mud room and a fenced in LARGE back yard with a one car garage. It also has a large front porch and I am gonna be getting a porch swing!! I can't wait!!!! I will keep you updated, and hopefully I can get pictures now that Joe found my camera!

-----------------------------------------------

Here are the pics I took, of my birfday cake my big brother made me, and of the dafodiles growing by my patio, that I told Lavinia about:

2008-04-25T22:22:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. Sorry I have been out of touch. I had a VERY long week. I guesstimate that I worked about 63 hours in 4 days. I worked 930 am Monday till 330 Am Tuesday, went home, slept about 4 hours, then was back at 10 am that same day and worked till midnight. Worked 10 am till midnight on wednesday, then worked 930 am Thursday, till 245 am wednesday. I came home, went to bed and slept till noon, got up for a few hours, then went back to sleep and slept till about 930. I feel much better now, though the only thing I go accomplished was cleaning the rat cage.

-------------------

Last weekend Joe was supposed to take me to Olive Garden, but when we got there the line of people waiting for a table was almost around the building, so we ended up going to Logans RoadHouse......I don't know if they have those everywhere, or just South Bend, but they are a steak house, and they have the most delicious rolls, steaks and just about everything. A bit pricey, but very good food and service. You also get a bucket of peanuts and you just throw the shells on the floor!!!!!!!!!

My brother made me a cake, though I didnt give him enough notice to make it classic Pooh, but it was a cool cake anyways. I took a pic, I just havent had time to DL it. I will do that as soon as I can, and post it for you all.

------------

My meds seem to be helping me a lot. I forgot to take them yesterday though. The first half of the day I was downright chipper, but as the hours wore on, I started to feel fuzzy and frayed around the edges. By 130 am, I was so upset I was close to pulling my hair out. I chewed Joe out for being slow and totally snapped at my boss. Luckily he understood and I wont get in trouble. We've all been working so many long hours that we are all snapping at each other and falling apart.

The head supervisor, our floor supervisor (the one I yelled at) and our Human Resources director called everyone into the office one by one to thank us for all our hard work these last few days and the tell us we are doing a good job. Our workload literally doubled in a week and we are so short handed right now its pathetic. They hired a few people and hopefully it will get better.

They are supposed to be hiring me a helper, most likely a temp or a part timer just to help me with the date entry so I can do my other duties and not get behind. I had been able to handle it until this week. I wont get into all the detail of the drama in my office, but lets just say that hopefully they will be getting rid of the unreliable people and actually put someone in my office that can help me instead of screwing me over constantly.

Well, sorry this post jumped around a bit. So much has been going on, and I am still so tired, so I dont know if it has made any sense to any of you.

Good Night

2008-04-22T21:56:00.000-07:00

Worked two VERY VERY long days....will update this weekend on everything that has happened. Too tired to do it right now.

Love ya,

Mindy

2008-04-19T12:09:00.000-07:00

Well, I went to the doctor Friday, and I am now on Prozac......took my first dose today. I hope it helps me....

She also wants me to do a sleep study the end of May. She thinks I have sleep apnea....I know I do snore a lot, but to be honest, I don't think I have it. A major sign of it is being constantly sleepy, and falling asleep during the day. Thats not me. I mean, I am tired, but its just cos of all the hours I work. I worked 17 hours on Thursday. I went in at 930 am and didnt get off till 230 friday morning. Thats why I'm tired. I don't start the day out tired. I wake up feeling refreshed most of the time. I am thinking of changing doctors. it seems like to her, every problem I bring up is caused by my weight. I know I am over weight but not ALL my problems are caused by that. Sheesh. It's so hard to find a good doctor these days.

My blood pressure is good now though. It was high, and she put me on meds....I took em for a month, then ran out but my pressure is still good. My sugar is still up. so I am still taking my metformin for that....now I am on birth control, metformin and prozac. My desk is beginning to look like my grams with all the pill bottles!! I just dropped 62 bucks at the pharmacy!!!!

Well, I am gonna get off here. Joe is taking me to Olive Garden for my bday dinner. I got a new outfit to wear..I am looking forward to actually going on a "date" with him!

2008-04-15T18:30:00.000-07:00

Well, my birthday was a quiet affair, mostly cos I'm celebrating it this weekend since I had to work and I get paid this week, so I will have the money to properly celebrate it!!

My dad's 50th was this weekend as well, two days before mine. We threw him a huge bash....kudos to my sis in law and brother for all their hard work, as me and my mom had to work, so we couldn't help much. My brother made a cool ass cake that looked like a demolition derby. He had little hills made out of cake, and brown frosting for the dirt, and little matchbox cars and monster trucks. It was awesome!!! Tasted great too!!! Then Sunday I let Joe go on the Road Rally with my dad and step bro, even though it was my birthday. I had the house to myself on my bday...peace and quiet!! They got third place too, which was totally cool.

Sperm Donor (bio dad) sent me a card on my bday. It was early!! I couldn't believe it!! He remembered AND it was early!!! Will wonders never cease!!! It had a little note it in telling me he knew that he forgot things and was never around but that he does love me, blah blah blah...I jotted a quick note telling him thanks, and sent the pic of me and Joe that was taken right before xmas..the one on my myspace page.....I just don't know what to do when it comes to him..never do, prolly never will.....

Work seems to be going better this week. Only worked three hours overtime in two days, instead of 8...yay!!!!

Well, gotta go check on my dinner. Thanks for all the bday wishes everyone!!

2008-04-11T16:13:00.000-07:00

Yay!!! I got a reprieve and now I don't have to work on Saturday...my bday is looking up!!!

Oh man, I am exhausted. I worked 9.5 hours doing hard manual labor and let me tell you, after a year of parking my big butt in an office chair, I got freaking weak....I thought I was gonna die today. My feet and back hurt, I was sweating like a pig and I could barely move!!! I am so glad it is over with!!!

I worked 60 hours in 5 days this week!

2008-04-07T05:27:00.000-07:00

Well, I am getting ready to head off to work for a 6 day shift. You probably wont hear from me much this week........

Sunday is my 29th Birthday and that is the only day I get off this week. *sigh* So, I am celebrating it the next weekend. Joe asked what I wanted, and I told him, take me to get a new outfit, then take me to see Forever Gypsy...so thats what he's gonna do.

Talk to ya all next week!

2008-04-04T14:27:00.000-07:00

Ok, I know this will sound kinda corny and goofy, but New Kids on The Block are getting back together, and I am so excited its pathetic!!

I LOVED them. To the point of obsession. My walls were papered with posters and pin ups, I had the Joey doll, I had ALL their tapes, buttons, hats, tshirts, even went to a concert when they were in South Bend.

I watched their apperance on the Today show this morning, plus I am signed up to receive updates from their website......

I know, I'm pathetic....I can't help it, and I can't wait!!!

2008-03-27T05:19:00.000-07:00

Doing better. Dont have time to make a full post, but I just wanted to let you all know I AM doing ok. Made a doc appt, and had a LONG talk with Joe about things. I think I got through to him, and having a lot off my chest helped as well.

2008-03-22T16:48:00.002-07:00

There are days when I wish I didn't even existed.

I think I need to go to the doc and get on some meds. I am never happy anymore.

2008-03-15T18:52:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone. Thanks for all your concerns about my cousin Shane. He's out of the hospital now. They finally gave him a blood transfusion. The bleedings stopped and his blood count stayed in the normal range, or something like that. He still doesn't feel his best, but he's home and thats a good thing.

------------------------------------

Joe's b-day is this coming Friday. He's bummed out cos he wanted to have a bonfire like last year, but so far the forecast for Friday is wet and cold.....can't really have a fire if its raining and all the wood is wet. I tried to tell him we could have a little get together at our VFW. They have a full kitchen and cheap bear, plus dart boards and a pool table, and a juke box! But you know guys. He's pouting cos he can't do what HE wants. GRRRRRR!!!!

I'm a bit irritated at him right now anyways. He just HAD to go off to the bar. Thursday he said all he wanted to do was sit at home and "actually relax for a change" as he ALWAYS says! So, I made sure we got all our errands done on Friday, so we wouldn't have to go anywhere the rest of the weekend. Hurried up and got the house cleaned and next thing you know, he's off to the bar! Didn't even ask if I wanted to go until I got upset. No, I don't want to go actually. I value my lungs...kinda need them to breath an all, ya know??

It just really irritates me. I don't know. Maybe I am over reacting....he says he wants to relax...in fact, thats ALL he says sometimes. "I wanna relax for change. I never get to relax."

Me: "Joe, can you take out the trash while I clean the kitchen. Its over flowing."

Joe: " I guess. I really just wanted to relax for a change. I never get to relax."

Never mind the fact that he sits and relaxes before work. The first thing he does when he gets home from work is sits in his recliner and relax. On the weekends, he gets up, and sits in his recliner and relaxes..GRRRRR

Last weekend, he took Wednesday and Thursday off. Combined with our normal three day weekends, he had FIVE DAYS OFF!!!

And guess what? He claims he didnt get to relax, cos he cleaned the house.

If you consider taking out the trash and doing the dishes cleaning house.

He didn't vacuum, clean the bathroom or sweep and mop the kitchen...but he "cleaned" the house. And he didn't get to relax. When in fact, he played video games all day on Wednesday!

I wasn't asking him to clean the house top or bottom. Just straighten it up a bit.

I just don't get his whole obsession with "relaxing" lately. Its all I hear from him anymore.

I know we work long hours. For those of you who don't know, we work in the same place, though in different areas. I work in the office, doing data entry, and other clerical things. He works in the warehouse, picking orders and sorting and stuff. He has a hard, physical job. I understand that, cos I used to do it before I got promoted. But I still work hard. I am still tired when I get off of work. Maybe not physically, but mentally I am EXHAUSTED. Especially since we work ten or more hours a day. Most Mondays I go in at 930 and dont get off till close to midnight. Then I am back to work the next day at 930 and usually work till 930, sometimes later. The only days I seem to get out at a decent time are Wednesday and Thursday. And I still work 10 to 11 hours on those days, and sometimes I don't take a lunch or any breaks. I never take breaks actually, but sometimes I get a lunch. There is usually just too much work to do, and after 4 I am pretty much by myself, trying to get it all done. At least he has a whole warehouse full of people to help with his job. I am BY MYSELF! Then I come home, make quick dinner and take care of the rats and cats. Don't get me wrong, if I ask him to do something he will, but I would just for once like it if he would take the initiative, and do the dishes, or make dinner, or do laundry, or feed the cats, or clean the rat cage. If I don't, he will sit in his recliner, smoking a cigarette and "relaxing". I really hate that word now!

I know this comes across as sounding like I am unhappy, but I'm not. I guess I just need to get it off my chest. If I don't, I will just scream. And yelling at him doesn't help any. He refuses to actually fight with me. He will just get mad, and go sit in the car for an hour, then come back in,sit in his recliner and smoke a cigarette and refuse to talk about it.....*sigh*

2008-03-07T18:32:00.000-08:00

My cousin Shane is in the hospital. Has been since Wednesday evening. He fell down and actually tore his spleen. He is in tremendous amounts of pain, so much so they have him on morphine. He is bleeding internally. They are trying to get him to stop without having to do surgery. Now, I'm no doctor, but if he is still bleeding three days later, shouldn't they just do the surgery? I mean, he's in pain. I stopped by to see him today and I could tell how bad he was. He kept losing breath mid sentence and every time he coughed he almost cried. Now, Shane is my oldest cousin and I have never seen him anything but strong and fit and full of humor. It was so creepy to see him lying in that bed, in so much pain. I wanted to cry!

Birthday Wishes

2008-02-23T17:18:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Ange

I hope you have a great one!!!!

2008-02-22T11:29:00.001-08:00

I just found out that my cousin Christal, who is only 14 years old is four months pregnant.......I am completely speechless......

February 21st

2008-02-21T05:34:00.000-08:00

February 21st is always a very hard day for me. Today is the 4th anniversary of my grandma's death and it is soooo hard for me to deal with it. See, my grandma helped raise my brother and I after our "father" walked out on us. She could be very difficult to live with at times, but she was always there for us, no matter what.

I felt like I lost a parent the day she died and I just have so much trouble with this day. Sorry to bum everybody out, but I had to get it off my chest.

Loves to ya all

My new babies!!!!

2008-02-16T17:07:00.000-08:00

Meet Kodo (front) and Podo (back). My two fancy male rats. Joe and I just got them from Pet Smart. I have been wanting to get a new pet from the rodent family for awhile.

Their names are weird, but if anyone is familiar with the Beast Master movies and series will get the connection, lol......

I guess they are brothers, which I think is awesome!

Maybe they should start making more things in the USA, huh??

2008-02-15T07:55:00.001-08:00

Importer Recalls Valentine Lollipops

This undated photo provided by the Polk County Sheriff's Office shows a cand...

10 hours ago

LAKELAND, Fla. — The importer of a Valentine's Day lollipop said it was voluntarily recalling the treats after metal fragments were found in at least two lollipops sold at central Florida stores.

Sherwood Brands of Maryland, which imports the candy from China, said it was recalling all of its Pokemon Valentine Cards and Pops, which have been pulled from the shelves of thousands of stores across the country.

Roughly 20 lollipops were seized at Kathleen Elementary School in Lakeland. X-rays determined that only one piece definitely had metal — what appeared to be a staple — baked inside, Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said.

On Wednesday, a woman in nearby Mulberry told authorities she found a lollipop with a piece of metal in it in a bag of the same product. The metal appeared to be part of a razor blade, authorities said.

The sheriff's office issued a safety advisory and the Dollar General chain removed the product from its more than 8,000 stores nationwide. The Food and Drug Administration is investigating.

Judd said the two tainted lollipops were purchased from different Dollar General stores near Lakeland. He said the lollipops did not appear to have been tampered with and it appeared the metal was baked into the candy in China, where it was produced.

"Our children were put at risk of physical injury because of this," Judd said.

No injuries were reported and it was unclear whether the metal was intentionally placed in the candy.

The sheriff's office said Sherwood Brands was cooperating. "They are as concerned as we are," Judd said.

Sherwood Brands did not return calls seeking comment Thursday but announced the recall in a statement. The company said it was recalling the cards and treats, which were sold in packages of 10 and 30.

"Sherwood Brands is advising its distribution network to remove the Pokemon branded Valentine cards and lollipops from the shelves immediately. The product was sold at retailers nationwide," the company said in the statement.

Dollar General, headquartered in Goodlettsville, Tenn., also pulled another Sherwood Brands product, Dog Artlist Collection Valentine Cards and Pops, from shelves. Tawn Earnest, a spokeswoman for the chain, said no other pieces of metal have been found in the manufacturer's products.

China's reputation as an exporter has taken a beating in the past year following the discovery of dangerous chemicals in products from toothpaste to toys. Last year it announced a series of measures to boost product supervision.

2008-02-10T10:56:00.000-08:00

aaaaackkkk!!!

Im looking for a beef stew or soup recipe that doesnt have about a gazillion veggies in it......help!!!!!

LMAO

2008-02-04T20:11:00.000-08:00

Check out this video: Midget Michael Jackson

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Hmmmm, where to start??

2008-01-26T19:57:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking about things lately.....something has been on mind.

I feel like I have failed a certain three little someones. Julie, Christal and Angel. I failed them.

Their mother, who unfortunately is my mothers sister, is a drug addict, lying, cheating whore. I mean the whore part literally. Shes a prostitute. In fact, she just got arrested for giving a man a blow job behind one of our local supermarkets.

I know she treated the girls badly. Their house was filthy and full of cockroaches. They never had anything. They moved around constantly, their father was in jail for conspiracy to commit murder for goodness sakes.

I called Child Protective Services on her once. Fat lot of good it did. They said they did not find any signs of abuse. Maybe she didn't beat the holy hell out of them or burn them, but she sure as hell neglected them. And she did hit them too much. And screamed at them. And she didnt take care of them or love them.

One summer, Julie came to spend the night and stayed a month. I wanted to keep her so bad. But I didn't fight for her when she had to go home. I should have. Why didn't I? I may not have been able to give her much, but I could have given her love.

Angel, the youngest is so beautiful now. I saw them at the store the other day, with their older sister...a younger version of their mother right about now. I hadn't seen her since our grandma died almost five years ago. Goodness, it will be five years on February 21st.

Angel has a bit of brain damage because Sherry, my "aunt" abused prescription pain pill and I'm sure various other drugs while pregnant with her. She almost got taken away from her, but she promised us she would clean herself up. So we all got together and cleaned her house and helped her keep Angel. The clean up act lasted about a month before she was back to her old ways.

Julie and Christal, from what I have heard, are already having sex at tender ages of 16 and 13. I gave Julie condoms. I don't approve of what she is doing, but I figured she will do it no matter what anyone says, so she might as well be protected. I haven't seen Christal in about four years, so I don't know.

I don't know why I am blogging about this. It's too personal, but I had to get it off my chest. Seeing Julie and Angel at the store, seeing Julie with make up on and clothing too mature for her age really kicked me in the gut. I should have done something more for them....CPS should have as well. Couldn't they see how nasty and disgusting that house was?? A concerned family member called them for help and they did nothing. Why?? Why did those three beautiful girls have to be born into a life where they have to deal with such horrible things like this...a mother getting arrested for prostitution for goodness sakes!!!

I'll probably delete this post tomorrow, but for now its up here. I just needed to let it all out.

Rest In Peace

2008-01-22T18:00:00.000-08:00

I dont know about the rest of you, but I am pretty upset about the death of Heath Ledger. He was an excellent actor, an I loved that he could play so many different roles and still be believable.

My heart goes out to his daughter and the rest of the family. His little girl will barely remember him.

Its sad. Such a waste.

Now, I just heard, that that hate monger Reverend Phelps will be picketing his funeral because he played a gay cowboy in Brokeback Mountain!

2008-01-20T15:50:00.000-08:00

Things have been so frapping busy for me lately. I have been working long hours, and with the holidays, I feel like I only exist for errands. Now its so freaking cold out right now its a bitch to get anything done. I work all week, until after 7 pm most of the time, and I go in at 930. I was going in at 7 am, but they wanted to cut my OT, which is fine by me, cos I was close to exhaustion. Anyhoo, since I get out so late, its impossible for me to get anything done during the week, so what do I do on the weekends, when I could be relaxing?? Running errands!! My apartment is a mess all the time because I don't have any time to REALLY clean it, my diet has gone to shit because I have no time to cook a proper meal, and I have been grabbing what ever I can so my stomach stops growling!

*gasping for air*

Ok. I'm done ranting. I just needed to bitch for a minute, lol.

Joe and I did manage to find sometime to do some cleaning on Friday. We (mostly him to be honest) moved all the furniture out of the living room, then vacuumed and steam cleaned the carpet, then vacuumed again because of Kasey's long ass cat hair. It gets everywhere! Then we re arranged the living room. We had to throw out our old leather recliner because Samantha clawed the hell out of the back of it, so now our living room almost seems empty.

Then today, we did the dining room, cleaned the carpets and moved a few things around. Next weekend we will probably do the bedroom. We are on the lookout for a new dresser to make the room look a bit better. We have too many clothes for our current dresser, so our room always looks like a disaster!

My mom decided to get new family pictures done, and I think they came out pretty good. Heres me and Joe. This is the first professional picture we had done together. Walmart portrait studios do a pretty damn good job, and for the fraction of the price of Owen Mills and the other fancy schmancy places.

2008-01-06T11:08:00.001-08:00

Glen Gibbs

PONDER THESE THOUGHTS IN 2008
>
> Number 10
> Life is sexually transmitted.
>
> Number 9
> Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
>
> Number 8
> Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an
> erection, make him a sandwich.
>
> Number 7
> Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use
> the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
>
> Number 6
> Some people are like a Slinky ... Not really good for anything, but you
> still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
>
> Number 5
> Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying
> of nothing.
>
> Number 4
> All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
> criticism.
>
> Number 3
> Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax
> cut saves you $0.30?
>
> Number 2
> In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
> weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
>
> AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2008 :
> We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the
> millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't got a clue as
> to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.
> Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
>
> And the BONUS thought for today
>
> "Life is like a jar of jalapeños . What you do today, might burn your
> ass tomorrow".

2007-12-31T13:27:00.000-08:00

a friend of mine sent me this. it made me cry.

>> A man in Grand Rapids, Michigan incredibly took out a $7000 full page ad
>> in
>> the paper to present the following essay to the people of his community.

>> HOW COULD YOU? By Jim Willis, 2001
>>
>>
>>
>> When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh.
>> You
>> called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple
>> of
>> murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad,"
>> you
>> d shake your finger at me and ask How could you?" -- but then you'd
>> relent
>> and roll me over for a bellyrub.
>>
>>
>>
>> My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were
>> terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I re member those n ights of
>> nuzzling y ou in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams,
>> and I believed that life could not be any more perfect.
>>
>>
>>
>> We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice
>> cream
>>
>> (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I
>> took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the
>> day
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and
>> more
>> time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted
>> you
>> through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad
>> decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in
>> love.
>>
>>
>>
& gt;> She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into
>> our
>> home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because
>> you
>> were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your
>> excitement... I
>> was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to
>> mother
>> them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent
>> most
>> of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate.
>>
>>
>>
>> Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a prisoner of love." As they
>> began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled
>> themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my
>> ears
>> and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their
>> touch
> ;> -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended
>> them
>> with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to
>>
>> their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of
>> your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if
>> you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told
>> them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and
>> changed the subject.
>>
>>
>>
>> I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog," and you resented every
>> expenditure on my behalf. Now, you have a new career opportunity in
>> another
>> city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow
>> pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a
>> t ime
>& gt; when I was your only family. I was excited about the car ride until we
>> arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of
>> hopelessness.
>>
>> You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home
>> for
>> her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the
>> realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers." You had to
>> pry
>> your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please
>> don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you
>> had
>> just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and
>> responsibility,
>> and about respect for all life.
>>
>>
>>
>> You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely
>> refused to take my collar and leash wit h you. You had a deadline to meet
>> and
>> now I ha ve one, too. After you left, the two nice ladies said you
>> probably
>> knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me
>> another good home. They shook their heads and asked, "How could you?"
>>
>>
>>
>> They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules
>> allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At
>> first,
>> whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you
>> that
>> you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped
>> it
>> would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me.
>>
>>
>>
>> When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of
>> happy puppies, obl ivious to th eir own fate, I retreated to a far corner
>> and
>> waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day,
>> and
>> I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room.
>>
>>
>>
>> A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears,
>> and
>> told me not to worry. My heart pounded in an ticipation of what was to
>> come,
>> but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of
>> days.
>>
>>
>>
>> As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she
>> bears
>> weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every
>> mood.
>> She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her
>> cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many
>> years
>> ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the
>> sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily,
>>
>> looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?"
>>
>>
>>
>> Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said "I'm so sorry."
>>
>>
>>
>> She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went
>> to
>> a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or
>> have
>> to fend for myself -- a place of love and light so very different from
>> this
>> earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her
>> with
>> a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her.
>>
>>
>>
>> It was dire cted at you , My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will
>> think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue
>> to
>> show you so much loyalty.
>>
>>
>>
>> A Note from the Author: If "How Could You?" brought tears to your eyes as
>> you read it, as it did to mine as I wrote it, it is because it is the
>> composite story of the millions of formerly "owned" pets who die each
>> year
>> in American & Canadian animal shelters. Please use this to help educate,
>> on
>> your websites, in newsletters, on animal shelter and vet office bulletin
>> boards. Tell the public that the decision to add a pet to the family is
>> an
>> important one for life, that animals deserve our love and sensible care,
>> that finding another appropriate home for your animal is your
>> responsibility
>> ; and any local humane society or animal welfare league can offer you good
>> advice, and that all life is precious. Ple ase do your part to stop the
>> killing, and encourage all spay & neuter campaigns in order to prevent
>> unwanted animals.
>>
>>
>>
>> Please pass this on to everyone, not to hurt them or make them sad, but
>> it
>> could save maybe, even one, unwanted pet.
>>
>>
>>
>> Remember...They love UNCONDITIONALLY.

2007-12-24T10:30:00.001-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-03T15:40:00.000-08:00

pretty sad today. a friend of my family's died of cancer. very unexpected. she was a sweet lady, very kind and generous, and LOVED animal. the world lost a wonderful person.

2007-11-24T08:45:00.000-08:00

Holy smokes!! Even with the wonderful Thanksgiving feast my mom made, I still managed to lose another 3.4 lbs, for a total of 12.2!!! I couldn't believe it!!!!!!

How was everyones Thanksgiving??? Hope it was as good as mine!

2007-11-17T07:43:00.000-08:00

It's days like today that I wonder why I even bother. Sometimes I really hate men.

2007-11-15T05:17:00.000-08:00

This is just weird and sick, and god I hope he doesn't have a traditional wedding night!

http://www6.comcast.net/news/articles/odd/2007/11/13/India.Man.Weds.Dog/?cvqh=ht_india

Hey Everyone!

2007-11-12T15:41:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile huh? Sorry I haven't been around for awhile, I've just not been in a blogging mood, plus I have been pretty busy.

I'm still doing weight watchers. I've lost almost 9 lbs now, yay me! It's getting harder the closer to the holidays it gets. I went to the store the other day and it is just chock full of all my favorite holiday treats! :-( But I resisted!!!! I don't always resist though. I've cheated a few times, and I really should exercise more.

I've been thinking of going back to school. I'm not rushing into anything, it's a big decision, but its really been on my mind lately. I've been looking into the respiratory therapy program at Ivy Tech. I've always wanted to help people, and it seem very interesting. I've also been looking at the Human Services program. I wouldn't mind being a case worker or something like that. I will probably go down to the school after the holidays, and talk to someone. If I do this, it will probably be for the spring semester.

Joe and I did our fall cleaning. We cleaned out closets, and rearranged the bedroom, cleaning all the nooks and crannies and finding all sorts of things under the bed, mainly all the socks Joe whined about not being able to find. I think there were about 5 pairs of socks under the damn bed!

I go back to the doc after Thanksgiving for a check up on my diabetes. I keep forgetting to take my meds though. I don't mean to, It just completely slips my mind. I know I need to take it, but I have always been bad about taking pills. I also can't test my sugar anymore. I ran out of test strips and I checked on the price of them at the store, and they cost more than 40 bucks! And insurance doesn't cover them either! What kinda bull is that??

Well, thats all for now. Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving, in case I don't manage to blog again before that.

A Not So Good Diagnosis

2007-10-12T16:23:00.000-07:00

Today I went to the doctor and found out that I am Pre Diabetic. Not good. Not good at all. Both my grandmothers were/are diabetic and I never wanted that for me. It's may fault though, for letting myself get so heavy. I'm working on it now though. My new, healthy lifestyle is going well. I go to my next Weight Watchers meeting tomorrow, to see how much more I lost. I prefer to go by their scale as opposed to my doctors. According to my doc's, I lost another two pounds, but Weight Watchers is digital, so I want to go by theirs. Anyhoo, I have to take medication, and check my sugar three times a week, then see my doc again in six weeks. She thinks I will be okay as long as I keep going to weight watchers and keep losing weight. I'm upset, but hopeful.

2007-10-06T14:31:00.000-07:00

Last week I joined Weight Watchers. I have been slowly making major lifestyle changes for myself. I havn't posted anything about it yet because I wanted to see if it would work. I went to the meeting, bought some low point goodies, went to the grocery store and got some weight watcher and lean cuisine meals and snacks for work......aaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnndddddddddd!!!!!!!

I LOST FOUR POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was freaking hungry all week, but i lost four pounds!! I didn't exactly feel deprived of goodies...im a sweets person...i had my desserts and cookies from weight watchers and they taste yummy...i just was so used to eating what i wanted, when i wanted and going overboard, that my tummy was like, FEED ME!!! when it really wasnt hungry.....i am extremely proud of myself, and i just wanted to share....

I also go for walks now and try and be more active. I feel better..better about myself, and i am happy, especially when i saw that i lost four pounds!!!!!!!!!

-------------------------------------------

Today, I went to my moms, got my moms dog, my sister in law, and one of her dogs, and we went for a walk in the back field. It was freaking sweltering too...I thought I was gonna die....then after I rehydrated, I took my cousins three kids and we went across the road, got them some pumpkins and then went in the corn maze where I got freaking LOST!!!! but only for a few minutes, lol.....then we fed the goats, played with their boston terrier and went home...now I am relaxing and cooling off in my air conditioned apartment cos ITS FREAKING HOT!!!!!! on Oct. 6th!!!!!

spooooooky!!!

2007-09-23T06:03:00.000-07:00

Went to the Haunted House last night, had a blast. They actually scared me this year, which is unusual...I don't scare easily at all. I'm a hardcore horror fan...I especially love movies with zombies in it....hell, I even dream about zombies!! LOL....I loved the Haunted House so much this year, I went through twice, which I have never done.....The first time I went through, a zombie came after me and I freaked out! I started screaming, and I shoved through Joe and Dustin to get away, lol...it was a blast!!!!

-------------------------

So how is everyone?? I haven't been around very much. I try and comment sometimes to keep up with everyone, let em know I'm still alive.

I've got some health issues. Gotta get blood drawn to see whats the matter. I haven't had my period in almost two months, thought I was pregnant but I'm not. I was very disappointed to find that I wasn't, but now's not the time for it anyways. Gotta find out whats wrong with me first, fix that, then down the road I can try again. Not that I tried this time, just thought I was......

---------------------

Been thinking of starting a blog with just book reviews. But then I can hardly keep up with this one....maybe I will work on it during the winter, when I'm holed up in my apartment avoiding going anywhere where its cold, lol...yeah, maybe thats what I will do...I have so many books...I love to read. I get caught up in a book and I don't hear anything thats going on around me.....

well, im off for now. gotta go to the store.....

love ya all,

mindy

Pics from the Military Honor Park Festival

2007-09-09T14:43:00.000-07:00

These are just a few of the pics I took. The Honor Park is on the South Bend Regional Airports property. There is a museum, actual missels (demilitarized my grandpa assured me) and tanks, along with papers and buttons like you see below. Its a pretty cool place, full of a lot of history, and people that are more than willing to talk to you about any questions you might have. If you are interested, I have plenty more pics that I can put up for you.

Been awhile

2007-08-25T07:09:00.000-07:00

Hey there everyone. It's been awhile huh? It's been almost a month since I posted. Where has all the time gone?? I miss you guys a lot! I've been pretty busy actually. Working, working, working. Trying to save up some money for my wedding. Yes, I type WEDDING! Joe proposed to me awhile back. We set our date for October 17, 2009. We set it kinda far back mostly for money issues. We want to save up enough to do it proper, and to save enough for a decent honeymoon. I also want to lose some weight. I have my dress picked out, the location for the ceremony picked out, the location for the reception, pretty much everything. My godson David is going to be my ring bearer, my cousin Nina, the flower girl, my step dad is going to give me away, and my mom, sis-in-law (and sis in my heart!! Love you Banni) and cousin Brandy are gonna be my matron of honor and my brides maids.

I have a dilema though, maybe you guys can help me out a bit.
I DONT WANT SPERM DONOR AT THE WEDDING!

I haven't told my grandparents that yet. I don't know if they told him I'm engaged yet either. They don't talk often, but he usually calls around this time to wish both of them a happy b-day cos both their birthdays are in September. I didn't know how to politely tell them not to tell their son that their only granddaughter is getting married. He will ruin my day if he shows up with his mulletted drunk self. He seems to think he is entitled to have any say in my life. It's like he is in denial of the fact that I have seen him three times in the 22 years he's been gone, and that I have talked to him exactly three times since his last visit over three years ago! (hmm, I'm sensing a pattern here) Anyhoo, how do you guys think I should approach the issue?

Well, bye for now, but I plan to post again soon. I went to the Military Honor park last month for a festival. They have a museum and they had tanks and other cool stuff out and I took a few pics I want to post. I need to get them out of my camera though, so thats for later.

Love ya and miss ya all!

For Fine Artist

2007-07-29T14:34:00.000-07:00

Lori, I just found out about your daddy and my heart goes out to you. You are a remarkable human being and one of the most unselfish people I have the pleasure of knowing. I am terribly sorry for your loss and I am here for you if you need me.

Everyone, who knows Lori, please extend your sympathies. She is going through a hard time right now.

http://fineartist.blogspot.com/2007/07/i-took-my-daddy-home-so-he-could-go.html

I love you hun.

On Vacation

2007-07-23T18:33:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, I seem to be taking a break from the blog world. I will be back though. Right now I am on vacation from work and getting ready to go out of town for a few days. I have been busy, and have a lot of stuff to tell you, and I have some cool pics to put up for you all to enjoy. I miss you all and look forward to catching up with all of you, though I have a feeling were all pulling away while the weather has been so beautiful.

Well I off, I go packing to do, and directions to print out, so blog at you all later!!

2007-06-29T21:59:00.000-07:00

Had a bad day today. Sorry my first post in ages, starts with that, but I did. First, I had to get up early, after working till 230 am, because I had an appointment, and dumb ass me didn't think to make it for later in the afternoon.

Then, I went with my sister in law, brother, and mom to the vet to put their lab Lucky to sleep. It was so hard to say good bye to him, even though I knew he was in pain. He was my "Lucker Dog" my buddy. He was my favorite. I love all their animals, but Lucker Dog was my buddy. He used to knock their other dogs out of the way so I would pay attention to just him. He would make his little chuffing noises to show his contentment and if I stopped petting him, he would hit me with his head to keep going. I will miss him so much!!! I haven't cried that hard in a good long time.

I remember everyone used to be so scared of him, cos he played at being mean, but in reality he was nothing but a GIGANTIC lap dog.

I went not only to say good-bye, but also to show support to my sister and brother. She was there for me when I had to put my Ninja Kitty to sleep, she drove me in the middle of the night to the emergency vet when my dads cat (more mine than his though) went into renal failure, and she was there for me when my Dachshund Daisy got hit by a car. As much as my heart was breaking, I knew her pain was ten fold, and I had to be there for her, just as shes always been there for me.

Rest In Peace Lucky
1993-2007
I will never forget you

Sorry, I don't have a pic of him handy, but I'm sure Brandi will post one on her blog sometime soon.

extremely miscellaneous rants and rambles, look out.

2007-06-18T10:44:00.000-07:00

Ya know what I hate? Well, a lot of things actually, but two of the biggest things I hate are liars and thieves. They usually go hand in hand too. I had the camera. A real nice camera. It was a RCA 35 mm. It had 10x zoom. It wasn't the fanciest one, but it was nice. I used it for action shots because I don't have a very high megapixel in my digital. I got it on clearance, but I still paid a decent amount for it. Anyhoo, I loaned it to Mozzy, when we were still friends. She had a lot of my other stuff too, and gave me a bag back while I was in the process of packing up to move. I was so busy, I didn't look when she said the camera was in the bag. Only when I was unpacking the bag a few weeks later did I see it wasn't in there. I called her up, asking where my camera was, and she said it was in the bag. Now, this was while we were still friends. The camera was NOT IN THE BAG! Turns out, she had it all along, and told my sister in law that I gave her the camera. NO I DID NOT! When I asked her about it she said her mom had it and would bring it back when she came back in town. That was almost a year ago and I have yet to get my camera back. I FREAKING HATE THIEVES! And making it even worse was the fact that she stole it from me while we were friends. Not to mention she owes me money for a couple hundred dollars of computer software I sold her for $50. What a freaking deadbeat.

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For some happy news. Yesterday was a good day. I went and seen David and Alijah, my god sons. They are both doing well. Michelle is learning sign languge, from a book for now, but she is going to be looking into classes for us all to take. We need to start teaching Alijah sign now, while it will be easier for him to learn. He fell asleep in my arms while I was there, it was so precious! Aunt Wanda took a picture of it, so as soon as I get a copy, I will put it up. I did startle him a bit when I cleared my throat. The vibrations made him jump cos his head was right on my chest. He likes to lay there, I think maybe because he can feel our heartbeat. Joe was holding him as well, and that was a beautiful sight.

We went to Eric and Brandi's after seeing David and Alijah. They had a cookout with the juciest, yummiest steaks ever. They also had steamed corn and baked potatoes and the yummy bread with homemade honey butter spread. I ate like 8 pieces of bread, but I worked it off in their pool. My brother and I wrestle and horse around in the pool, cos I have less of a chance accidently getting hurt in the water. I had a blast. It's been awhile since I spent good quality time with them. I mean, we see and talk to each other, but yesterday seemed so right and fun and I was so happy and content. I really missed them when all the bad stuff was going on last summer and fall. I'm glad thats past us now.

I started selling Avon, to supplement our income a bit. Joe has a chance to get a part time job at my cousin Ryans job. It may lead to full time, and they pay a lot better than Masters. With his part time job and my avon then I think we will do pretty damn good financially.

Well, I need to get going so I wont be lat fore work. Have a good week everyone, and hopefully I will have time to leave messages on everyones blog. It seems like its so hard to get blogging lately, but I miss all of you so much!

Spring Cleaning, A Bit Late

2007-06-01T14:26:00.000-07:00

I decided the other day to take most of this weekend to completely clean and purge my apartment. Who knew that a year would build up so much junk. Don't get me wrong, my place isn't filthy, its just cluttered and messy. I straighten up all the time, but I don't actually clean, and by clean I mean, clean out all the closets, cupboards and junk like that. It amazes me all the junk we've accumulated! Some of the things I've come across, I don't know where they came from. I found Christmas Decorations on top of the fridge, how'd that get there?? Anyhoo, I'm taking a much needed break from that to blog and drink a cup of Ice Tea.

I got my first package for my Soldier all ready to to. Joe and I are gonna go the post office tomorrow to mail it out. I hope he likes what I got him. I only got a few things for his first package because I'm waiting to hear back from him on what he likes or needs. The website (www.soldiersangels.com) said I might not. If thats that case, then I will just continue to send random things to him and hope that he likes or needs them. They also said that if our Soldier doesn't need or like something, there are plenty of others that may need it too, so I'm not too worried about it.

I'm planning on signing another years lease here. Joe and I looked around for something cheaper, but no go. Unless I want to live in Crack Head Haven, otherwise known as Pin Oak Manor, then Castle Point is the cheapest place around for the square footage we get here. I do love the place, I just wanted something a bit bigger and that allows dogs, so I can get me a doggie. We have over 700 sqft here, and most of the other apartments have less than that. We did look at a place called Mckinley Woods, that is REAL nice. It was actually a town home, with a fenced in back yard, 1.5 baths, two bedrooms, shed in the back yard, and lots of closets, plus a stacked washer and dryer. I LOVED it, and so did Joe, but it was not in our budget. We've been kind of bummed out lately, because they allow dogs and cats, and there is no extra monthly pet cost like most places. So we decided to stay here another year. We do have the option of getting a different apartment here. They have a one bedroom with a den that we are thinking about. When we go back to discuss our lease, we are going to ask to see one, see if it is worth moving to another apartment and for the extra cost.

Well, enough of my break time, I want to meet my cleaning goal for today, so I can justify going swimming later. Tomorrow its cupboard and closet cleaning day. Have a great weekend everyone!!!

2007-05-14T08:16:00.000-07:00

Happy Belated Mothers Day to all the mothers out there..........I meant to do this yesterday and I forgot. GRRRRR, damn brain just doesnt want to remember all the shit I jam in there lately.

I was inspired by the link I followed on Angies blog and I filled out an app to adopt a soldier. Why have I never heard of this before?? Was I just not paying attention?? Was I being selfish and self absorbed?? I get that way sometimes. I dont mean to, then all of the sudden I realize its me, me, me always me. Then i come back down to earth again. Hopefully I will stay this way for awhile.

will be going on the day shift in July. I cant wait. I hate working nights. It seems like I miss more. Yeah, i get to sleep in more on nights, but I feel like life is passing me by while im snoring away. I have to jam all my errands into the weekends, then go back to work tired.

Joe got a job offer to work construction on the side. Hopefully it works out. The guy is supposed to call him. I hope he does. we could really use the money. If he makes enough, we can pay our car off faster and maybe get a house.

Found out that if I want to lease monthly here after my year lease is up, I have to pay an extra fifty bucks a month, or i get the option to renew another years lease and continue paying my current rent. grrrrr....i wanted to just go monthly in case a nice house comes my way. now i cant do that. pisses me off a bit. oh well.

bye everyone. gotta go get ready for work now.

2007-05-04T03:02:00.000-07:00

whew, i just got home from a 13 hour shift, and i still dont know when ill get to bed. im getting ready to chow down some grub and joe and i are hanging out with our friend dustin. hes fast becoming our best friend. today were gonna go play bingo with him and his mom, and then him and joe are gonna hit the bars. i was gonna go, but decided not to cos they need a guys night out night, and saturday morning im gonna hit some yard sales with my friend crystal. its the first time this season, im so excited.

sunday i might actually get to veg out cos joes going on the Road Rally with my dad. the house to myself, YAY!!!

later this month joe and dustin are going with my dad and some other friends to the mudbog. My lil bro, dad and our friends son are all bogging. My dad actually won best in show few years back, and my lil bro was in like third place last year. Dustins never been to a bog, so hes all excited.

weve just been busy busy busy lately. works been crazy, but i try not to complain cos of the paychecks ive been getting.

got some bad news though. Alijah was just diagnosed as 100 percent deaf in both of his ears. I gotta get with his mom and find out how to learn sign language. anyone know sign, and is it really hard to learn?? i took a three week class in middle school, but didnt retain any of it.

well, just wanted to update you, time to eat and prolly crash soon. love ya all!!!

David and Alijah, 2007

2007-04-20T21:04:00.000-07:00

weird

2007-04-16T12:41:00.000-07:00

did you know that you can rent dvd's from a vending machine?? weird huh??

2007-04-12T23:53:00.000-07:00

sorry its been so long since i posted, and sorry i havent commented very much on everyones. I ve just been very very busy with work. Ive worked 13-15 hour days all week cos we switched computer systems and there has been nothing but problems. but the week is over. a friend of mine is making me and joe a spaghetti dinner and tomorrow im celebrating my 28th bday with my friends and family and im doing great. i just wanted to let everyone know i was alive, if not extremely tired and a bit stressed out. love you all!!!

Alert!!!!!!!!!

2007-03-29T07:24:00.000-07:00

Warning to any ladies in the South Bend/Mishawaka area!!

I got a call from my cousin yesterday. She was very upset. She had gotten a job at a place in Mishawaka called "Francesco's Fine Dining" She worked there for about a week and a half and he called her up Tuesday to "speak to the accountant about your paperwork". Only when Brandy got there, there was no account and it was only the owner. He started off pretty innocent, admiring her tattoo that he had never seen because of her work uniform. THEN he said "your tattoos are sexy, do you have any of them near your privates?" and started to reach down there. She jumped back and called him a freak and asked where the accountant was. He then went and sat behind his his desk and started to rub himself off. He gasped "oh, your so sexy. why dont you come over here and rub those big titties on my chest!" By this point she had had enough. She turned to walk away, and he started to go after her, she sped up and he yelled "wait, are you going to come in to work tonight??" she just shook here head and drove away as fast as she could.

The police won't do anything since he never was able to actually touch her. One police officer said something along the lines that he was just hitting on her. Her turning him down doesn't mean anything. They said they would put a notation int he computer that she had made a complaint against him, but since shes not a minor and there are no witnesses there is nothing they could do. What kind of bullshit is that??? One of the officers made a remark that they eat there frequently and have never had any complaints before. Maybe the other girls were too scared to quit their jobs over it?? I was furious and felt helpless, angry that I couldnt do anything to help her. Then she asked me to put the word out. Advise people to boycot the place, anything. So I am.

Im tempted to go in there this weekend and make a scene. Talk real loud about attempted rapist working there and then leave. OR order a big meal and then walk out, saying I lost my appetite cos i saw an attempted rapist. Anything to make this guy miserable and make him lose money.

2007-03-17T09:32:00.000-07:00

Last night while Joe and I were out and about some jerk hit our car!!! We're not hurt, and the car only got minor damage, but still!! And then the jerk tried to say it was our fault. Hello?? We were in the left land and he decided to come into our lane and didn't check to see if anyone was in our lane! And them BAM! he hit us. He tore up the bumper right above the wheel. I called the cops and he came and did an information exchange thingy, but he didnt file a report. I'm pissed. How are we gonna prove to the insurance company that it wasn't our fault if there is no actual report?? I tried to get ahold of the company today but no go...We have a five hundred dollar deductable if we have to use our insurance to fix our car. GRRRRRRRRR

In happier news, its going great in the office. He asked me to start coming in earlier and told me I was doing well. I have to work in there by myself on Wednesday. I think it's a test. Hopefully I pass it cos if I am put up there permanetly I get a dollar more an hour. I could really use that money.

I'm going to see my papaw's grave with my cousin today. She hasn't been there since she was a kid, and I haven't been there since before my grandma died. I never met my papaw. He died while my mom was preggers with me, but I feel a connection with him. My mom, and aunts and uncle and grams talked about him so much, and with such love I feel like I knew him. My great uncle put up a new headstone two years ago, and I would love to see it. When he died, he had no insurance, and the state was just gonna bury him in a pine box. My mom had a little money saved up and she got him a nice coffin, but only had money for a cement headstone, and it had worn away so badly you coudnt read the dates, so I am really anxious to see the new headstone he put up. When I was younger, that was one of the things I wanted to do if "I got rich". I wanted to buy a big fancy headstone for him. Is it bad and petty that I was a tiny bit upset that he did that?? I also thought that he should have at least consulted my mom and aunts and uncle about it before hand. He was their father after all..but I think sometimes I can be too negative and mean and petty about some things. At least he has a decent grave marker now right?? Brandy and I are gonna plant some wild flower seeds on his plot. I don't know if they will take this early in the year, but its still too cold to put actual flowers in. My papaw died of cirrous of the liver. He was an alcoholic. That also makes him more real to me. He had his faults, and a major one too. My mom worries about me sometimes. She's scared that I will turn into an alcholic cos its genetic...but I don't drink that often, and when I do, its only one or two drinks. I have zero interest in actually getting drunk. I like a little buzz now and then, but not stupid falling down drunk.

Well, my cus is on her way, so I'm gonna go get ready.

Have a great weekend everyone.

2007-03-09T14:04:00.000-08:00

It's a beautiful day in South Bend. The sun is still shining at 5 pm, its warm, and I have the windows and patio door thrown open to let in the fresh air. The cats are happy to sit in front of the patio door and smell all the smells again.

Can you tell I'm in a better mood than I have been lately?? I think I had a serious case of cabin fever.

Things have been much better at work lately. I'm in the office all day now. I'm still on a trial basis right now, but my boss told me that I'm doing well enough to have another weeks training. I really enjoy working in an office. Everyone says I seem much happier now and they are right.
I am.

I'm sorry I couldn't make the chat room with you guys the other day. I just got Ange's invite last night. I work nights, sometimes till early the next morning. I wish I could have been able to join you guys, would have been a blast.

Have a great day guys, and I hope all of you are enjoying the beautiful weather like I am!

2007-03-03T10:15:00.000-08:00

Thank You to everyone that made me feel better about missing my grandma so much. You all helped a lot.

This post was gonna be about why I got a new one, but I decided that I didnt want to dwell too much on negativity. Lets just say that an old friend of mine (some of you know her as Mozzy) is a toxic, lying bitch and she was reading my blog, and since we worked together at the time (shes no longer there, thank the gods) I didnt feel like I could be honest about a lot of things going on in my life, so thats why I got a new one. I wanted to make a full, clean break from her, especially now that shes not working with me. She doesn't know my number and she doesnt know where I live, and I plan on keeping it that way.

Now on to other things:
My moms elbow is broken after all, and it isnt healing like it should be. It also keeps popping out of alignment. She has to have an MRI done now, and might have to have surgery. Hopefully it wont come to that.

I got a chance to try out for a position in the computer room of my job. The computer room is the 'heart' of the business. All the orders and billing and everything else comes through there. Apparently its a very high pressure job. I'm only learning one part of it, and if they think I can handle it, they will let me continue there. I think I can handle it. I feel at home in an office, and I want to do something other than working in that grungy warehouse. I don't feel like I am living up to my potential there.

That all thats really going on with me. Ive just been working and sleeping mostly. This weather is really getting me down. I just want it to be warm, so I can open my door and window and let some fresh air into my home. Im going stir crazy, being cooped up. Its too cold outside and too wet and too windy and blah blah blah. Sorry, its making me a little grumpy.

Im gonna go clean my house now.

p.s. Another hug to Rain. I am so sorry for your loss and please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.

Dear Grandma

2007-02-17T22:19:00.000-08:00

Dear Grandma,

I can't believe that in a few days it will only be 4 years since you left us. I miss you SO much. It hurts so bad sometimes, especially these last few months. Mom says it was the holidays that has made it so hard lately, but I don't remember last Christmas hurting to bad, and I still miss you so much, even with the holidays over. I miss sitting at your feet while you brush my hair and tell me what ever was hurting me at the time would be all right. I miss watching spider or snake movies with you, and laughing at the way you screamed when one of them jumped at the characters. And Figure Skating isn't as fun to watch anymore, thats for sure. I miss sitting on the porch with you, watching it rain. I miss so much of you. I even miss your temper, and the way you used to yell at me when I did something wrong. I know you weren't perfect, far from it actually. I know that you were very hard to get along with at times. I try and remember the bad times so it won't hurt as bad, but it just doesn't work, because I would gladly take the bad with the good to have you back again. I know your last few years were hard on you. I know you just wanted to die, to give up. Mom told me that you said you wanted it all to end, that you were tired of being sick all the time. I know its purely selfish of me to want you back here, where you could't breath without oxygen, and couldn't even give yourself a bath anymore, but damnit, I want you back! I wish you could have met Joe, see me so happy and independent now. I think you two would get along. Hell, Joe gets alone with almost everybody. Even Grandma McClanahan doesn't have anything bad to say about him, and you know how she is. I can't believe I am sitting her at 130 in the morning, writing a letter to you, crying in the dark, but I've just got this overwhelming need to be in your arms lately. I miss you more lately, than I did when you first left us. I just don't understand it. Everytime something happens lately, good or bad, I think " I wish I could tell grandmma about this." But I can't. And it hurts my heart so badly. I know I will see you again one day, either in heaven if it does exist, or in another life, but one day I will be with you again, I just wish it was now.

Give Daisy Dog and Ninja Kitty and everything and everyone else a hug and kiss for me and tell them I miss them.

Love, Mindy
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Everyone, I know this post was depressing as hell, but it was something I needed to do, something I needed to get off my chest. On Feb. 21st, four years ago my grandma Perkins died. She helped raise me and my brother, and while there were some very hard times, and she was very difficult to get along with, I loved her with all my heart and lately I have been missing her alot, as you can tell from the letter I wrote her.

Brandi, please don't tell mom about this post. She is going through enough right now without having her worrying about me, okay??
I'll be fine, I just needed to get this off my chest.

2007-02-09T20:42:00.000-08:00

My mom fell down at work today, dislocated her left elbow. She's ok now, but I spent the day worrying about her. They told me to stay home because they didn't need a crowd of people hovering around. I wasn't happy, but I obliged them seeing as how this was about my mom, not me. She had a hell of a day though. She went first to Med Pointe, but since she got hurt at work, they wouldn't see her. They made her go to Occupational Health, who told her that she had two fractures and a dislocated elbow so they sent her to on Orthopedic Surgeon, who said that she DIDN'T have any fractures, so THEY sent her to the emergency room at Memorial Hospital, where she spent the next several hours with incompetent doctors who don't seem to know how to put a dislocated elbow back in place. They almost sent her home thinking it was back in place, but it wasn't so they had to call the doctor back in. Fast forward another 2.5 hours and she's finally at home, knocked out with pain killers. I'm gonna go see her tomorrow, make sure she is ok. I think she should sue, but that's just me. My mom is my best friend and I did NOT do well sitting at home while I knew she was in agony, and there was nothing I could do about it. I was so angry that she kept getting shuffled back and forth when she was in so much pain. How could they just send her away like that?? And why the hell did they think she had fractures?? They dont know how to use an x-ray machine?? *fuming*

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I have this cousin. Her name is Michelle. We used to be close. I've talked about Michelle before. Her two boys, David and Elijah are my god sons. Elijah was born in December and I have yet to see him. When he was born I was sick, and continued to be sick well past Christmas. Before I go further, I should give you some back story. Michelle is a user. It took me a LONG time to come to terms with that fact. Oh, I knew she was a user, but I was just naive enough to think she wouldn't use ME. There used to be a time when I would do ANYTHING for Michelle, mostly cos of David, but I did love her a lot. We grew up together. Before my brother married my sister in law, Michelle and her sister Mary were the closest things I had to sisters. While Michelle was pregnant with Elijah she called me constantly for rides and other things. At first I was happy to help out. I mean, she was pregnant with no car and she was family after all. But with gas prices as high as they are we couldn't do it anymore unless she gave us a bit of gas money now and then. As soon as I asked for some, she stopped calling. I heard from her once before Elijah was born, calling cos she was stranded at the hospital. She was in labor but not enough for them to keep her there, so she was discharged and she had no way to get home, so we went and got her. I couldn't just leave her there. I didn't hear from her for about three days, when she called me to tell me Elijah was born. After that, I tried to get ahold of her several times to make sure she was okay and to see if I could see Elijah now that I wasn't sick. I couldn't get ahold of her. I left voice mail messages several times, and called my aunt Wanda, her mom, to make sure she was okay and to tell her I was trying to get ahold of Michelle. Still didn't hear from her. I finally got pissed and stopped trying. Then last week Michelle starts calling me cos her belated baby shower is on Sunday (and I'm just now hearing about it) and she wanted to see if I could help out with the games and stuff. Now remember, I havent heard from her since before Christmas, and now shes calling wanting my help. I didn't call her back for three days, letting her call me several times asking if I was mad at her. I finally called her back today and she answeres the phone: "finally, you called me back!!" and my reply was: "geez, and I've been trying to call you since December!" She claims that no one has the code for their voice mail and that she didn't know I had called. I know she has caller ID though. I'm not dumb. Then my sister in law called and we were talking about my mom, so I told her I would call her back, but of course she didn't answer.

I just dont understand how she thinks she can get away with using me like that. Out of all my cousins, and I have a lot, the only one that calls me just to chat is my cousin Brandy Marie. She just wants to talk to me, to chat about anything and everything. If it wasnt for David, who owns my heart, I wouldnt have anything to do with her. I'm not going to the baby shower. I will get Elijah a pack of pampers and an outfit and leave it with her mom, but I just cant take being used anymore. Maybe if she starts calling me just to talk, and not when she thinks she can get something from me, I will renew my relationship with her, but not until then.

My next post will be about the reason why I have a new blog. Its a lot like Holly's reason actually. Until then, Love ya all!!!

2007-02-06T07:48:00.000-08:00

Wow, its been awhile since I posted. Sorry about that, I've just been really busy. My moms party went pretty good. We actually managed to surprise her, which is almost impossible. I freaked out a bit on Saturday cos I was talking to her and she said she was hung over from the night before and she wasnt gonna leave the house. Luckily my dad made her leave. He said he had plans and to just shut up and get in the damn truck, LMAO!!! I took my camera, but I was so busy setting up, and cleaning up and just plain old having fun that I didnt take any pics....and thats not like me at all! I'm the picture lady damnit! The bitch that I didnt want to come was there, but she pretty much stayed out of the way, playing darts, so it was okay. All in all I think my mom had a great 50th birthday party.

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Joe and I got matching tattoos!!!!! The pics are below. He got a dragon wrapped around a globe, and I got a tribal butterfly, and yes, its on my left boobie, but up very far. Let me tell you, it was a very long 45 minutes sitting in that chair with no shirt one while some guy, who is not Joe, was touching my boobie, LOL.....but thats okay, he was very professional and did an awesome job. I also got my eyebrow repierced cos it closed when I took it out for my surgery, which was weird cos I've had it out for longer periods before with no trouble....and boy did it hurt like a mother! There was scar tissue from the last piercing and he had to put the needle through it all. I cried. I'm not gonna lie about it. I cried, and I cussed and then it was over.....The first time I barely felt it. Just felt like someone pinched me. This time it felt like someone was pushing a needle through my flesh. Go figure. Well, heres the pics. Love ya all and all of you have a great day.

2007-01-27T12:20:00.000-08:00

Okay everyone. My old blog is retired. Im not gonna delete it, as Im fond of it, but its time for something new......someone I didnt want to has been reading it, and I just didnt feel I could post what I wanted to on it. I accidently posted that last one (the one with the cute sign) on my old blog, and it was meant to be on here....i dont know how that happened, but oh well....does anyone know how to put a site meter on the new blogger?? The directions didnt make sense...

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My moms party is on the third of February...I'm a little miffed cos my Aunt Nita invited someone that neither me, my mom, my dad or my bro and sis in law like.....I want to tell her shes not invited but its complicated. See, her sister used to date my cousin, and she somehow became a part of the family cos my aunt and grandma love her, even though shes a total bitch. I love her sister, and was sad when her and my cousin broke up. They had been together for a long time..now "the bitch" as I call her, is cleaning my cousins house, doing his laundry, cooking for him, driving his truck and she has a joint account with him. She is going behind her sisters back and telling everyone her business. It pisses me off and just shows me what kind of a person she is. But shes still loved by my aunt and grandma. The party for my mom is at the VFW where my aunt and grandma are major members who hold offices. How the hell am I gonna tell my aunt the bitch isnt invited without causing trouble?? Any advice?? (told you it was kinda complicated, LOL)

Hypocrisy

2007-01-21T13:41:00.000-08:00

hypocrisy n. , pl. -sies . The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; falseness

I want to talk about hypocrits today. Now, I don't claim to be perfect, and on more than one occassion I caught myself being a hypocrit. BUT I admit it. I admit my faults. If I feel I am wrong about something, I admit it. I have even apologized to people when I felt like I've wronged them. It wasn't easy, but I did it, and I will do it again I am sure.

No, what bugs me is not people who make mistakes, or act like hypocrits, its the ones that wont even admit it, or own up to it. Like people who backstab someone, and then act like their friend; THEN they have the nerve to get upset when someone does it back to them. Sounds to me like they are getting a taste of their own medicine. Karma baby. Now, I admit to gossiping about people, bitching about them...especially when I dont like them, BUT I wouldnt deny it AND I wont act like their friend. If I dont like someone, I wont be their friend. I wont hang out with them, and giggle with them or any of that bull crap. It really irks me when I see others doing it, and I get outraged when its done to me. I have a very simple request to people out there, and I think everyone should live by it. "If you dont like someone, dont pretend to be their friend." Its not that hard is it??

I have a lot of trouble trusting people, and I have several good reasons why, reasons I wont get into right now. So when I do lay down my trust in someone and they screw me over, it hurts, and it hurts bad. Im a fair person though, and sometimes I do give second chances, but not often. Ive given a second chance to only a few people, and one person in particular hasnt let me down. She knows who she is, and she knows I love her with all my heart and I am grateful for having her in my life. She is one of the few people out there that know how to admit when they are wrong, or have hurt someone, and can apologize for it. It takes a lot of guts to do that, and I admire anyone who can.

Where was I going with this post?? Not too far, just getting a few things off my chest. Just ranting and rambling I guess......

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This weekend went by way to far. I spent it cleaning and relaxing. I cant relax until I clean, so they usually go hand in hand, unfortunately. BUT my house is clean and comfortable and I can relax guilt free. I was gonna go see Forever Gypsy, but Joe and I decided that we really couldnt afford to spend the money on it. It sucks being a responsible adult sometimes. *sigh* maybe next month.

I applied to several jobs this weekend. Hoping one of them will pan out.

Love you guys!

2007-01-19T14:32:00.000-08:00

Grrrr...I'm getting really irritated at blogger right now!!! I logged into my new blog and made a post, and it posted it to my OLD blog!!!!! And of course, blogger appears to be down right now, so when it gets back up, i will move it over to here, cos I dont feel like re writing all of it.

I will repeat this though, I 've not been offended by anybody...i dont know why the comments were not showing up even after I had them published. I think they are up now though. Once again blogger screwing up!

2007-01-07T18:46:00.000-08:00

I've been talking to my cousin Brandy lately. We go through phases where we talk a lot, then we dont. Almost my entire family is like that. I dont know why. Anyways, we talked about a LOT of stuff. She opened my eyes about someone in my family. Someone I was previously close to, someone I am soooo disappointed in. But I dont want to violate the privacy of my family. She also has a way of making me feel good about myself. I think she is a strong, beautiful woman, and when she tells me that she thinks im beautiful, I believe her. She says she sees not just the outer physical beauty of someone, but also the inner. She says that I'm real, and good and caring and just beautiful in more ways than one. She made me cry a bit. Now, my mom and sister tell me Im beautiful all the time, but its different with them. I feel they HAVE to say it, but Brandy doesnt. She doesnt have to say that at all. She has a wonderful husband and a beautiful little boy. My cousin Julian, Im sure you remember my posts about him. He was born with the valves in his heart going in the wrong direction, or something like that. Basically it wasnt circulating his oxygen properly. He had to have two surgeries. One emergency "patch" job that temporarily corrected it until he was bigger, and then the permanent surgery. He came through both with flying colors, AND he wont have permanent scarring. He wont remember a thing! We recently celebrated his first birthday. Heres a pic of him with his daddy, Jessie. Arent they both so handsome??

There was really, absolutely NO point to this post, but my convo with her was on my mind so I decided to write it down...LOL

2007-01-06T18:46:00.000-08:00

As most of you know, I am a HUGE animal lover. I would do anything for an animal. I've gotten into arguments, and have actually hit someone for harming an animal in my presence. I even screamed at a child for hurting a baby bird. I had the kid in tears. Brat deserved it too....

Anyhoo. I am a member of the Best Friends Animal Rescue in Kanab, Utah. Its run by a great guy named Michael Mountain. I get their magazine that comes out every three months or so and I always has the latest updates in the animal world, good and bad.

The last edition featured "The Great Bunny Rescue". A lady (i cant remember where) started out with just a couple of bunnies that she had in her back yard. Unfortunately she didnt think to get them spayed and neutered. And we all know what happens with bunnies right?? Uncontrollable breeding!

There were over a thousand bunnies in this ladies back yard. And a lot of them were sick and dying, and they were still breeding. It took weeks and tons of volunteers to rescue all these bunnies. Some didnt make it, but a lot of them did. They neutered the males, and spayed the females that werent preggers. They were given medical treatment if needed, and a lot of them were placed in homes. But there are still a couple hundred that need homes. They were placed in the Great Lakes Rabbit Sanctuary.

The point to this post?? Well Great Lakes Rabbit Sanctuary is kinda small and they just took close to two hundred bunnies and they need help. Even if its a bale of alfalfa hay, or five bucks it would be useful. And Best Friends is also in need of donations. Or, if you dont have money, but have time both facilities could use volunteers if you live in the area. The rabbit sanctuary is in Whittaker, MI, and Best Friends is in Kanab, Utah.

Best Friends is one of the largest no kill animal shelter in the United States. You should all check out their website. They do awesome work there. One of these days Im gonna take a vacation in Utah and volunteer there for a few days.

What I would love to do is hold a fund raiser, but I'm not quite sure how to go about doing that. Has anyone ever held an online fundraiser before?? If so, let me know okay??Oh, before I forget, here are the web address of the facilities: www.bestfriends.org and www.rabbitsanctuary.org

2007-01-06T18:40:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone. This is my new blog. I needed to start fresh. I havent deleted my old blog. Dont know if I will. I might just move over my favorite posts from that one to this one. To be honest, there was someone reading my old blog and I didnt want them to. I felt like I couldnt post honestly because that person would use it against me. Whats the point of having a blog that I couldnt be honest in, that I couldnt write what I wanted to in?? Its one of the reasons I dont post as often I would like. Cos I had to censor myself. So welcome to my new blog!!